A Mental Escape To The Chateau
The Mental Escape We All Need
If there’s anything that most people can agree on these days it’s that we’ve all watched a LOT of television since being stuck in our homes due to the pandemic. With that in mind, if you’re like me and have already burned through all of the more obvious candidates for bingeing, you may need suggestions for that infamous “show hole.”
Image from IMDB
The Premis
Featuring retired Lt. Col. Dick Strawbridge, his wife Angel Adoree, and their two small children, trade-in their two-bed apartment in Essex for a dilapidated 19th-century French chateau. Watch as they utilize a limited budget to renovate 45 rooms, improve twelve acres of land and a medieval moat, as they attempt to create a beautiful venue for weddings and events.
Why you’ll LOVE it
I’m totally biased having also gotten married just a few short miles from the location of this particular chateau (check it out HERE), but this program is not only set in a dreamy landscape, but it’s also full of possibility that is sorely lacking in our lives at the moment. A bonus for me is that Dick is hilarious and Angel has me feeling the itch to make stuff that I have business attempting to stuff inside my small condo. The moral of the story is that if you need a mental break and are already caught up on The Great British Bake Off, check out this show. I watch it on the Peacock App (it’s free), but it’s also available on YouTube, I’m putting the first episode for you to sample in this post
You can also follow a long on Facebook for more details!
Questions or Comments? Leave me a note.
Emily in Paris - She Should Have Stayed Home
A Netflix Review
As a self-proclaimed Francophile and fan of the series “Sex in the City,” I was elated at the announcement and release of the Netflix series Emily in Paris. Saddled with the dull-drums of the ongoing COVID19 pandemic, a need for mental transportation to “other” places and distraction from the consistently negative atmosphere of the world at the moment, a visually romantic and lighthearted binge session seemed like just what the streaming doctor ordered.
All Cliche no Charm
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of romanticizing many of the historic cities of Europe by choosing to only engage with the historical aspects of the cities and culture. I want to be Audrey Hepburn in 1950's Rome, and I want to sip wine in Paris with Ernest Hemingway in the 1920s. Another reviewer of this show, stated that “Americans only want to see the Paris of 100 years ago,” and to a great extent, I agree with that sentiment and can find somewhat of a parallel in my hometown of Kansas City.
Not known for being a city of light or romance, however, Kansas City was once a hub for the cattle trade and the resulting reputation of making good barbecue, but while the cattle industry has long since left, the reputation remains. I don’t even enjoy barbecue but still must converse about it with anyone visiting the city or that I meet elsewhere after the name of the city is mentioned and I can only imagine what it must be like for a Parisian?! Anyway, I digress…
While I do have some similar criticisms of the Sex in The City series, some of the obvious story issues such as how Carrie was able to somehow fund a Manhattan lifestyle on the income of a singular weekly newspaper column, are even more glaring in the Emily in Paris series. For example, the seemingly overnight popularity and growth of her Instagram account, or the fact that this early-career person always seems to have the edge on everyone else around her. I don’t know if it was an attempt at personifying American superiority, French indifference, or what, but in my experience, if some 24 years old was continuously making me look inferior at work by touting that they had a masters degree while only having had a year or two of experience, I’d be pretty annoyed too. “Fresh perspective” is one thing, but the savior of an entire company by way of occasional Instagram posts is ludicrous.
Setting aside how I feel about the career/finance issues that have long been noticed in a variety of other successful shows such as Friends, there’s also the issue of fashion and romantic entanglement. Unlike Sex and the City, whose characters were still impossibly chic, managed to have signature styles (for the most part) just a half step between timeless and fashion-forward. Carrie being the exception, the other three characters dressed in a manner semi-reflective of both their career field as well as their level of success within it. However, Emily appears to be dressed like some sort of indulged teenager that is entirely indifferent to either the environment she is in or the message that her outfit sends. For someone that claims to be so “in the know” about what subtle messaging does for a brand, I can only assume by the way her outfits scream “petulant American teenager,” that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Then there are the many many romances. This show (and many other shows and films like it) makes it appear that impossibly handsome Frenchmen are literally on every street corner just waiting to bump into some ridiculous American girl who has just had her heartbroken. Gag me. These characters range in their most glaring of flaws, but at the heart of it, each is entirely devoid of any meaningful personality or at the very least the desire to cast an actor capable of portraying imaginary substance. Good, Bad, or whatever, every romantic interest in this series is nothing more than just a pretty face.
My Scorecard
In conclusion, yes, I did watch the entire season of a show that I knew I hated by halfway through the first episode. Yes, the scenery, colors, conversational cadence, and predictably excellent quality of a Netflix production, was addicting. However, while some of the supporting characters may have been mildly interesting it doesn’t change the fact that the central character is a paper doll and her main love interest is devoid of any real sense of self. No matter how pretty the color of the lipstick, when on a pig, nothing will make it cuter. I give this show a solid “D” grade.
Tailoring Vietnam
Custom Clothing in Vietnam
This activity was one that had me excited for months leading up to our trip. Articles and blog posts about how to select a tailor, what to have made, or how long it would take, were nearly daily reads in my travel preparation phase.
Lucky for you, I’m going to make this simple and tell you that with very little effort before you leave, you can make this tailoring process easy as pie!
If You Can Dream it They Can Make it
Coats, dresses, pants, suits, whatever it is as long as you have good pictures, they can copy it. Not wanting an exact copy of something? There are magazines, books, and sample items at every tailor, and you need only to tell them what you like about a given piece, and what you want changed to meet your taste.
Fabrics are plentiful, but if it’s leather and fur that you’re seeking, these are materials that weren’t obvious at any of the tailors we visited.
I selected a half dozen items which I had long coveted, but couldn’t afford or find, and printed multiple images from online of the items (if I could find differing photos which showed elements of the construction) from the internet, and these would ultimately service as the best thing I could have done.
Selecting A Tailor in Hoi An
First off, don’t bother researching before you go. I spent HOURS reading reviews and inquiring about folks on TripAdvisor, but it’s honestly a total waste of time. You can’t go more than ten steps in any direction without finding a tailoring shop, and asking locals (or staff at your hotel) will also not be helpful because everyone gets paid for referrals there.
Frustrated by the number of “My good friend works at this or that shop,” or being given discount cards to this or that tailor because I was a “preferred” customer at some hotel or took a tour or who knows what, we decided to cast a wide net and try several.
The first shop we visited, Yaly Couture, was a chain of tailoring shops that our hotel recommended. This shop claimed that they could do body image scans and then make additional images for you using your body scans and ship to you. The scan was a joke, but the staff and shop were welcoming, and between my husband and I, ordered three suits and two button-down dress shirts.
The second shop was Bebe couture and was one of the shops which I found on the internet while researching the trip. This shop was by far the nicest showroom, had the most satellite locations, and was the most expensive. Here we ordered one suit and two pairs of dress pants.
The third shop was a moment of travel weakness, in which we were looking for directions to a particular part of town, and an all too friendly local offered to walk with us to where we needed to go. “Fortunately” this journey landed us directly in front of her very good friend’s shop. That said, being the least fancy of tailoring establishments that we had seen, I decided that it couldn’t hurt to give it shot and ordered a dress. I don’t even know the name of this particular shop, or even if it had one, as it consisted of a table just inside the door of a larger shopping market.
What was the result of all of these orders? You might be surprised to discover that the quality was the same at all three shops. Having factored in enough time to appropriately utilize the tailors during our time in Hoi An, by allowing enough time to have more than one fitting done, we very satisfied with everything we had made.
To rank the shops we visited, I would have to say that Yaly Couture was best because I liked the feel of the showroom. I liked the experience at the no-name tailor second, because it was cheapest, probably because it didn’t have a fancy showroom. I liked Bebe the least because it was the most expensive and the showroom was overwhelming.
My advice is to pick a tailoring shop that you can easily find a second time (it’s REALLY easy to confuse the shops with each other), make sure you stay at least three days (four would be better), so you can have more than one fitting, and show them pictures of what you want.
Lastly, haggle as if your life depends on it.
A French Destination Wedding
France, one of the most romantic countries in the world, is also wedding ready.
Ask just about anyone with a desire to one day get married, and they will most likely have some sort of an idea about what they want their wedding to be like, what they want to wear, or where they want it to occur. Granted these things might change between the age of eight and thirty-five, but the having of that “ideal” for your big day, is there.
Fast forward a few years, and congratulations, you finally met the right person and got engaged! Sadly, if you’re like me, those once firmly held wedding ideals, have flown the coop, and you suddenly have no idea about what you want for this long-anticipated occasion.
Location
Local, or Destination?
First thing’s first, you need a location that will then set the stage for the other choices you’ll need to make. Unfortunately, this will probably be the most difficult part of the whole process, and everyone and their dog will have opinions, so keep in mind that this is YOUR day.
Aside from the above, by the time it was my turn to tie the knot (at age 35), I had attended a lot of weddings, and while I had fun at most of them (I think), they had largely faded into a blur of bridesmaid dresses, and vanilla wedding cake.
For better or for worse, I found myself armed only with a decisive nature, and a desire to do something “else,” by having a wedding that would be unforgettable.
*Side Note: If you ask my husband about wedding planning, he’ll climb onto a soapbox about what he likes to call, “the wedding industrial complex,” which I knew existed, but didn’t understand before planning ours.
The Wedding Industry Complex
When costs for products or services become inflated due to intangible forces, unrelated to the actual cost to make or produce that item or service. Example: Cake is not expensive to make, you can even purchase a custom sheet cake at Costco for 30 people, for just $18. However, the second you ask a bakery to have cakes stacked on top of one another, it suddenly costs $800 for a product made from the same elements as the $18 Costco cake.
But back to destination hunting.
The Venue
Somewhat desperate to avoid the costly trappings of a traditional wedding, and the obligations that invariably invade that special day, we decided that the only solution was to get out of town. I don’t just mean the state, because the same issues and obligations, would still be there. And let's face it, no one enjoys taking a whole weekend to go out of town to some random city they don’t care about, for someone’s wedding, or redeeming those hard-earned air miles, to fly for this purpose.
So, the “go big or go home” strategy, was born.
Did Someone Say Europe?
Already avid travelers, my fiance and I got engaged while abroad, and have made traveling the world together, a significant element of our relationship. What could be more natural, than to have a wedding that reflects who we are as a couple, and have our wedding be an experience that we can share with everyone, by doing it in Europe?
France, one of the most romantic countries in the world, is also littered with large palatial homes, resulting from its grandiose history. Many of these mini palaces are located on vacation rental sites, like Airbnb, with VERY reasonable nightly rates. With that in mind, what could be better than a large, beautifully decorated home, where you can provide accommodations for friends or family for several days, and also have your wedding for less than the cost of a few hours rental time in a generic event space?
*Side Note: Different countries have different legal requirements for getting legally married within their borders, so be sure to research well in advance. Alternatively, you can always legally tie the knot prior or post the ceremony, which is what we did.
We settled on a home built in the 15th century, located a couple of hours south of Paris, in a small village in the Loire Valley. The house itself was large, having six bedrooms, four bathrooms, two living rooms, two kitchens, and ample space for seventeen overnight guests. Located next to a church, it had plenty of space for additional wedding guests to park on the day of the wedding, and it had a beautiful back yard that abutted a tributary of the Loire river, replete with rowboats, and fairy tale charm. Basically, the home was the idyllic setting for a romantic wedding weekend.
*Side Note: Be sure to check or contact the owner of the property you’re interested in, and explain your plans, as not all homes will allow events. That said, the owner of the house we rented, was THRILLED to have us and even gifted us with flowers and champagne.
Party Planning
Okay, so you’re probably thinking, “great, you got a good deal on the venue, but what about everything else, and how the H* do you arrange that stuff in France!?”
I’m not going to say, “easy,” but in hindsight, it kinda was.
It was really important for us to have our day be focused on what was important about the occasion, and not the package it came in. After all, a “wedding” is simply an exchange of promises between two people, and not flowers and chair rentals. We were determined to keep that in mind and create an environment, that was uncomplicated, allowing the significance of the event to take center stage.
At times, it felt like we might still slide into the trappings we were going all the way to France to avoid, but I just needed to keep reminding myself that the more details we allowed to creep into the planning process, the more that the day would become about those silly details, and not us.
“Fire the butter mints, and burn the custom napkins!”
So… It was time to take stock and get creative with what was already at our disposal.
The Guest List
A couple of fundamental elements to any party plan is A) The size of your party and B) How fancy of an outfit do you want to wear. Mostly though, it’s the number of people, and it’s truly amazing how much easier this part is, when you place a hurdle like an ocean, into the equation. Not in any way to suggest that we didn’t want to share our day with everyone that we care about, and that love us, but more like giving many of those people an easy “out,” in terms of the feelings of obligation to attend.
However, we opened our wedding arms wide and invited everyone that wanted to come to France, to come join us on the day.
The above abandonment of the usual guest list protocol had three intended and resulting consequences:
The burden of provision was greatly lifted, as compared to a wedding at home, where we would have had somewhere between 100 and 150+ guests, and the increased responsibility and costs for each of those guests.
A destination wedding like ours becomes about more than just “attending a wedding,” and becomes a vacation for your guests. Memories of your wedding will merge into those of their vacation, and in general, become a positive and memorable experience that they won't forget.
The elimination of all but the most close of friends and family, in addition to all of you being removed from your normal setting, allows you the freedom to buck other conventions, without it being as noticeable.
*Side Note: We also planned a modest, afternoon reception back home, to invite the friends and family that we’re unable to come to France, which you can read a little more about, HERE.
Necessary Elements
Um HELLO, look at the house you rented, and the setting it is in! Yes, you could layer “stuff” on top of it, but it’s so beautiful just as it is, why not let the centuries-old stone walls, green mossy grass of the yard, fig-trees, and gently moving waters of the river, be beautiful enough?
Candelabras and draperies aside, with 40 people having purchased flights to attend, we needed (at bare minimum), food for that many, so working backward from 40, catering became the second hurdle.
Time to take inventory.
Any home that can accommodate seventeen overnight guests, has furniture, and a fair amount of it at that. I reached out to the owner of our Airbnb and got an inventory of what was already at the house, and it turned out that there were several large, iron, outdoor dining sets scattered around the property (all in good usable shape), that we could simply move around for our purposes.
Further, the owner recommended a local chef (Erik Maillard), that had previously prepared meals at the home for other large group events, and who was already stocked with the appropriate sized table linens and serving ware. Score!
With no desire for the formality of a seated service, we chose to forgo the rental of additional chairs, in favor of a short, standing service, set alongside nicely appointed tables in the yard.
Table linens and floral centerpieces for the tables was all that was physically used to decorate. Simple.
Never Wear White to A Wedding
As widely accepted as that rule is, I decided to go another way.
If you notice in films or advertising campaigns, guests at classy events, all seem to magically coordinate with the decoration and themes of the events they are attending, which to me, makes the whole affair look much more polished. Not wanting anything to distract from the “vibe” of our venue, I hoped to employ this same tactic to achieve a cohesive “look” for our wedding, and thereby the same idyllic appearance in our wedding photos. With this in mind, I told all of our guests to please abide by a specific dress-code.
White, shades of white or light tan were my marching orders, and I sent everyone images for outfit inspiration. This was by far, the best idea I had, because it truly enhanced the overall curated look of the event, with minimal effort on my part to decorate the space itself.
Bridal Flowers
When thinking about how and where to procure flowers while abroad, if I didn’t want to hire a florist, there wouldn’t be any guarantee of what kind of flowers I would have access to or any guarantee of being able to find any when I would need them.
Throwing caution to the wind, I decided that this was a detail that wasn’t worth stressing about (I don’t remember the flowers at any of the weddings I’ve ever attended, so why should mine be any different?), and to just deal with it when the time came. However, I did pack ribbon and a locket with a picture of my dad (who wasn’t in France for the occasion), in anticipation of whatever flowers I would find.
Food
I hired the chef that was recommended to me, and who turned out to be a LOVELY human. Sadly, my French is terrible, and he didn’t speak great English, which made communication difficult. However, through the course of several dozen roughly translated emails in Google Translate, we were able to establish that he would be making food for forty, bring wine from a local winery, would NOT serve any shellfish (my groom is allergic), and there would be a cheese course instead of cake. Beyond that, I wasn’t able to understand what it was that he would be making.
The breezy side of me had firmly taken hold at this point, and let's face it, he was a french chef and how bad could it really be?
Additionally, at some point in our broken conversation, we discussed how to set the tables (plated or buffet, and table linens or no), I had also mentioned that I wanted room for floral centerpieces. The stars all aligned, and he had a neighbor (or friend, I’m still not sure) that was a florist that he could contract for this purpose. He said that for an extra 60€ (about $73), he would bring tasteful flowers for each table.
So, with no idea what food we would be eating (other than cheese), what the wine would taste like, or what the flowers would look like, my wedding day was basically planned. Done!
Didn’t they turn out amazing!
It’s all about the dress
Oh gosh, the dress. Another wedding expense that steams my clams, is the cost of that silly dress. I mean, I get it, “it’s the most significant dress you’ll ever wear,” but to spend $2k (or more) on a dress you only wear ONE TIME… who am I, Marie Antoinette?
Nope, it wasn’t gonna fly with me (and I do mean that literally). I went wedding dress shopping at home and had the whole champagne experience with my mother and future mother-in-law, but while I found gowns that I LOVED, it didn’t override my reservations about the expense, or about hauling it to France.
Not only would keeping track of such an item be cumbersome for someone that typically only takes a backpack when traveling, but then the pressing and floofing of it, sounded like a pain. So, revisiting the goal of the whole affair… I was reminded that a simple wedding, would require a simple dress.
Happily, I’ve been very fortunate to have some extremely talented, creative people in my orbit, one of which is a gown designer (you can find out more about her, HERE). After crafting a list of my needs, she was able to make me a custom dress, that while still being 10X more expensive than anything else I own, was designed in such a way as that I’ve actually worn it four times since my wedding (five times in total), which has greatly mitigated my gripe about the cost per wear issue.
I’d also like to qualify my comments regarding the expense of gowns, to exempt those which have been custom made, rather than mass-produced overseas. Ateliers (such as my friend) deserve to be paid for their time, which is considerable when crafting custom goods by hand.
In the end, my dress needed to achieve the following:
Make me feel like a bride
Not wrinkle
Be slim enough to be rolled up and packed into my backpack (yep, I did it)
And not be so “bridal” in style, that it couldn’t be worn for other nice events
She delivered on all four points.
No pressing needed, it was simply UN-rolled and was ready to go!
The shoes
Honestly, the shoes were almost harder to figure out than the dress. I must have bought and returned four different pairs. In addition to my dress being tea length, and therefore the shoes being on full display, was the fact that we were getting married on grass, which posed a “sinking” issue, but I didn’t want wedges or flats.
Thanks to an eavesdropping co-worker who heard me complaining about my shoe dilemma, I was introduced to heel caps (like these, HERE). Acting as snowshoes for your heels, they prevent you from sinking in the grass. GENIUS!
With that dilemma sorted out, I soon visited UAL while visiting Nashville, and found my dream wedding heels. Always looking for a deal, these just happened to be on clearance for $80 (marked down from $1200). Thanks to the heel caps, and a recently repaired strand of my grandmother's pearls, I was now fully dressed and accessorized for the big day.
The Groom
We decided that there was no need to purchase a new suite for the occasion because he already owned a lovely powder blue one, which would complement the shades of white, cream, and pink, that myself and the guests would be wearing. I did, however, have a special pocket square made from the same material as my dress, as well as commissioned a custom lapel pin (not shown) for him to wear (another talented friend, that can be found HERE), which I gifted to him on the morning of our wedding.
The Bridal Flowers Cont…
Back to my breezy plan for flowers, which TOTALLY paid off.
When we checked into our Airbnb the day before our wedding (also the day to get wedding flowers), the owner/host, met us in person to get us checked in. She was so excited to have her home be the location of our nuptials (the first ever), that she gifted me a HUGE bouquet of white lilies and roses, as well as champagne. It was these flowers that I used to make my bouquet.
My mother-in-law had a brilliant idea to save some of these flowers after the wedding and pressed them between pages of a book which I purchased while in Paris. Most of them survived the process remarkably well, and are now framed and mounted on the wall in our bedroom.
As for the Groom, the property was lined with enormous lavender plants and using the handy dandy lapel pin that I had gifted him, we simply pinned a lovely sprig of sweet-smelling lavender, to his jacket.
The Wedding Day
In the end, we flew over (on an amazing flight deal we found with Google Flights), rented the house for a weekend, had a private chef, brought our photographer (whom if you couldn’t tell from the photos, is AMAZING and can be booked HERE), and had a beautiful service for less than the cost of renting a venue and tables for four or five hours, in Kansas City.
(Picks jaw up from floor)
Of the many memorable moments from that day, quite possibly my favorite is one that happened while alone, and I feel encapsulates the magic of the day as a whole. The morning of the wedding, in the stillness of my bedroom, I had just woken up and gotten out of bed. I crossed the room to open the powder blue window shutters, to look outside at the back yard (I was concerned about rain), what I saw will forever live in my heart.
The sky was clear and blue, morning bird songs were mingled with the gentle rustling of leaves in the trees, and scattered below my window, were white doves peacefully looking for their breakfasts. It was like looking at a painting, and I remember thinking, “Of course.”
In France, I guess scenes like this happen on your wedding day.
Wedding Video
There’s more? Yep, my husband has a step-brother that’s also a VERY talented videographer. He made us a short (at our request) 3-minute wedding video, which captures the essence of our day, in a way which I feel is lost in longer wedding videos. If you’re curious, I’ve included it here, and his contact info, HERE.
Questions or comments? Leave them for me below.
A Luggage Philosophy
If Instagram has taught us anything, it’s that having the perfect outfit for the already enviable locations that you’re visiting, is an added perk to traveling abroad, but who’s going to carry it?
Fashion show in exotic locations, or hassle-free travels?
If Instagram has taught us anything, it’s that having the perfect outfit for the already enviable locations that you’re visiting, is an added perk to traveling abroad.
However, those six pairs of shoes won't get themselves up the four flights of stairs in your beautiful, but historical, walk-up Airbnb rental in Italy. So, difficult decisions will need to made, and pairing down your ensemble is only half the struggle.
I’m a big advocate for using the metro/rail systems when traveling in Europe, which while often underground, requires climbing a lot of stairs to navigate to the appropriate platforms. In addition to the metro challenges, there are also the aforementioned stairs in your Airbnb.
The beautiful apartment buildings that we Americans all drool over in photos, typically don’t have elevators or have elevators too small to put your luggage in. Again, this results in hauling your luggage up a LOT of stairs. Even the smallest roller bag, can be cumbersome to carry when gripping a railing and ascending a mountain of stairs.
So, before you pack your bag, let's talk about what kind of trip you’re taking, and how much you’ll be changing locations.
My husband and I travel a decent amount, but I often joke with him that we’ve yet to take a true vacation in the seven years we’ve been together because our trips are marathons of activity. We typically spend no more than three days in a given location and typically travel between twelve and sixteen days, which results in a lot of jumping around, and therefore more stairs than I can shake a stick at. Therefore, I prioritize ease of travel, over Instagram ready wardrobe changes.
Luggage is a tool, and there’s an appropriate tool for every job.
As I mentioned above, I happily pack minimally, in favor of keeping my hands free when traveling. What this translates to, is using a backpack. No, not the backpack you carried in college, and no, not the backpack you’d carry into the wilderness, but an honest to goodness travel backpack. Usually in the category of luggage or travel bags, rather than as a “backpack,” these bags are sized for travelers that want to carry their bags onto their flights. Appropriately sized for most overhead bins, it’s yet another way to ease travel day stresses.
I’ve been carrying a bag from Osprey, since 2015, called the Porter. This bag has been upgraded a little since I purchased mine, but the basics of the bag are all still the same, and it’s still available on the Osprey website, HERE.
How do you pack enough for two weeks into a backpack?
Even when I’m not traveling, and have access to my entire wardrobe, I still do laundry at least once per week, so that I can wear my favorite pieces again and again. The HUGE advantage of staying in Airbnbs, in addition to the cost savings, is the access to a washing machine. Pack less, rewash, and your little backpack will become your best friend.
So serious is my belief in the above packing philosophy, that when my husband and I opted for a destination wedding, I chose a wedding dress that I could easily roll and pack into that backpack, and I have no regrets to this day.
What does a two week wardrobe in a backpack look like? That’s a subject for another post ;)
Questions? Leave them below!